Summer Page 13

  But now, John wasn’t so sure. He’d talked to Ashley’s doctor and asked about the test. Making the call was tricky, since the doctor was bound to keep details to herself because of the patient privacy rules. John was careful about his questions.

  “My daughter’s ultrasound,” he began. “Are you sure about the results?”

  “I’ve looked at them a dozen times since then.” The woman sounded defeated. “There’s no doubt in my mind.”

  John hadn’t pushed for more details. What more could there be?

  Now his pace was slow, the path still damp from rain this morning. Next to him, Elaine was quiet, thoughtful. A blue jay dipped low over the path in front of them and soared to one of the low branches of a nearby maple tree.

  “The thing is . . .” John took a deep breath. The air smelled of rain and damp grass. “I understand where Brooke’s coming from.”

  Elaine raised her eyebrow. “You do?”

  “She’s a product of her education, her generation. Abortions are fast and easy and legal. She doesn’t see it any other way.”

  “But you do, right?” Elaine slowed her steps.

  “Of course.” His heart went out to his oldest daughter. Each of his kids had talked about how off she was on this, how she couldn’t have a very strong faith if she could recommend an abortion. “Brooke’s wrong, but we’re all wrong if we can’t find a way to love her despite her opinions.”

  Elaine angled her head. “True.”

  They walked a little farther. At the playground, they spotted Jim Flanigan with his four youngest boys. They were playing a game of flag football, the boys laughing out loud. John and Elaine stopped and watched for a few minutes. Three of the boys were black, and Ricky—the youngest—was white. But as the kids ran and played and yelled for the ball, there wasn’t a difference between any of them.

  They were kids, all of them. Created by God and perfect in His sight.

  John waved, and they continued on their walk. “I’ve been thinking about Ashley’s baby.”

  “Mmm.” She wove her fingers between his. “I’m praying for a miracle, the way Ashley asked.”

  “Me too. But what if God is asking Ashley and Landon to take this journey—the journey of having a child with a fatal birth defect?”

  Elaine gave him a sad look. “I’ve thought about that.”

  “It’d be like walking through fire. But if God asks that of Ash, then He’ll ask it of the whole family. We would need to walk right alongside them because she and Landon would need all the support they could get.”

  “Yes.” She stared straight ahead. “My daughter miscarried her first child. She mourned that baby the way a mother would mourn the death of any child.”

  John lifted his eyes to the heavens. “So there’s a fine line here between doing as Ashley’s asking us to do, praying for a miracle—” he paused—“and helping her handle what might be the reality of her situation.”

  Elaine was quiet for nearly a minute. “God always makes the lines clear just when we need to see them.”

  John felt her response straight to his soul. He stopped and turned so he was facing her. He took hold of her other hand and tenderly kissed her. His feelings for her had grown stronger since he’d made his intentions clear. She was more than his friend and companion. She was stirring inside him feelings of love he hadn’t known he’d ever feel again. This was one of those moments.

  He searched her kind, gentle eyes. “Thank you . . . for pointing that out.”

  “You’re welcome.” She leaned her head on his chest. “Thanks for understanding.”

  John took a few steps back and released one of Elaine’s hands. This wasn’t the place for long face-to-face conversations, not out in public this way. Especially when he hadn’t told his kids yet that things between him and Elaine had intensified.

  They started walking again, and John watched another blue jay work to dig up a worm. When the bird had the worm firmly in its beak, it flew off toward a distant tree. Somewhere in a nest on a branch, a baby bird was about to get fed. It was a mother’s instinct to care for her child. Ashley was only doing what any mother would do, praying for the diagnosis to disappear.

  And maybe it would. A resolve came over John, and he swallowed back a lump in his throat. If not, he would pray that he and Elaine and his other kids could support Ashley and Landon like never before. In the meantime, he would do what Elaine suggested.

  Pray that God would make clear the lines between wanting a miracle and walking through fire.

  Jenny had never imagined the conversation she was about to have. The boys were outside with Jim so she and Bailey could be alone in the living room. Marissa Young was on her way over. This would be Jenny’s and Bailey’s attempt to talk Marissa into telling her mother immediately and, even more importantly, keeping her baby.

  She looked at Bailey and tried to remember everything her daughter had said. “She’s still coming, right?”

  “That’s what she told me. She’s afraid to talk to anyone but me.” Bailey made a skeptical face. “She was really mad I shared it with you, but I told her I tell you everything. She doesn’t want her mom finding out from anyone but her, no matter what.”

  Jenny looked out the window at Jim and the boys. Their newest thing was flag football. Jim and one of the boys would form a team, and the rest of the boys would make up the other. Even Connor was getting in on the action—though he was more comfortable onstage. She watched her boys, young and innocent, laughing with their father without a care in the world. God, please make them young men of virtue, boys who are willing to wait until they’re married. She couldn’t imagine one of them coming home with the news that his girlfriend was pregnant.

  But even if one did, she and Jim would love that son and hold him, cry with him, and do whatever they could to help him be a father or to support a decision of adoption. They would get through the ordeal with Christ leading the way, and they would come out on the other side with their family still intact.

  Which was more than she could say for Marissa.

  “What’re you going to tell her?” Bailey sat cross-legged on the chair near the piano. The sun streamed through the window and splashed gold on her natural highlights. But she looked tense.

  “First she has to tell her mother. Absolutely. And next she needs to know that the baby inside her is a human life.” Jenny looked out the window again, and a slow sigh slipped between her lips. “I want her to know her options, that she can connect with our crisis pregnancy center and get a free ultrasound. That way she can hear the baby’s heartbeat, probably even see the baby’s spine at this point.”

  “Really?” Bailey’s mouth hung open. Her face looked pale. “It’s so weird to think there’s really a baby growing inside her.”

  Jenny wanted to say that it was more sad than weird. “Is her boyfriend still pushing for an abortion?”

  “Yeah. Last time I heard.” Bailey ran her tongue along her lower lip. “It’s going to be awkward. This talk.”

  “Difficult situations make for awkward moments.” As discouraged as Jenny was about Marissa, she couldn’t have been prouder of Bailey. She’d admitted her feelings for Cody, but since the situation with Marissa, her take on life was black-and-white. This wasn’t the time for a boyfriend. “You hear from Tim?”

  “I see him at rehearsal. The other day I told him about my plan. No boyfriends until college.” She giggled. “He said he thought Cody and I were going out. I set him straight.”

  “Is Tim seeing anyone?”

  “No. He feels the same way. Dating too young just gets you in trouble.” The doorbell rang, and Bailey raised her eyebrows. “Speaking of trouble . . .” She hopped up, and after a quick hello, both Bailey and Marissa returned to the living room.

  Marissa looked like she’d been crying. “Hello, Mrs. Flanigan.”

  “Hi, Marissa.” Jenny stood and hugged her, then returned to her seat.

  Marissa took the spot on the sofa next to Bailey
’s chair. “Wow.” She blew out hard through pursed lips. “I can’t believe I’m here.”

  “It’s okay, honey.” Jenny leaned forward and clasped her hands. “No one’s going to judge you. What’s done is done.”

  “My whole life’s about to change.” Marissa didn’t whine or let out any dramatic sobs. But tears trickled down her cheeks. “Why didn’t I think about this before?”

  It was the question thousands of teenage girls asked themselves every year. Jenny allowed some time to pass before she started in. “The question, Marissa, is what to do next.”

  Bailey was quiet, her gaze downcast. Something about having her friend here and discussing the baby must’ve made Marissa’s pregnancy seem more real than before.

  “Yes.” Marissa sniffed. “That’s all I can think about. Bailey probably told you that my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion.”

  Jenny wished the young man were here in her living room. She’d tell him exactly what she thought of his decision to sleep with a high school girl and then order her to get rid of the baby. “I’m going to say something that won’t make you very happy.”

  Marissa looked at Jenny. She seemed to have more resolve than before.

  “You need to talk to your mother, Marissa. Before another day goes by.”

  Fear filled Marissa’s eyes. She swallowed hard, looked down at her lap, and gave a slight nod. “I know. I’m planning on it.”

  “Marissa, look at me.” Jenny prayed her tone sounded as kind as she intended. When Bailey’s friend lifted her eyes, Jenny continued. “If you don’t tell your mom, I’ll call her. She has to know.”

  The girl’s eyes grew wider. “I’ll tell her, Mrs. Flanigan. I will.”

  “Good.” Compassion made Jenny’s throat thick. Marissa was so young, so afraid. Jenny waited until she found her voice. “Next, you must understand that your boyfriend doesn’t love you, sweetheart. If he loved you, he would’ve respected you. He would’ve wanted whatever was best for you. Instead he pushed you to have sex with him, and now he’s pushing you to do something that’ll make his life easy.” Jenny’s voice was soft, full of concern. “But having an abortion could never make your life easy. The rest of your days you’ll know when that baby’s birth date would’ve been, and you’ll count off the milestones that never occurred. When the baby should’ve walked and talked and headed off to kindergarten. You’ll carry that child in your heart as long as you live. I promise you, Marissa.”

  More tears filled the girl’s eyes, and she nodded. “I’ve been thinking about that.”

  “There’s a bumper sticker that says, ‘Abortion doesn’t destroy one life. It destroys two.’” Jenny’s heart went out to Marissa. The issues at hand were too great for a girl so young. “I’ve talked with friends who’ve had abortions. They agree with that bumper sticker completely. They tell me even though Jesus forgives them, they’ll struggle forever with forgiving themselves.”

  Bailey took a breath and looked at Marissa. “What’d you tell your boyfriend?”

  “I told him I couldn’t decide yet.”

  “There’s something else to consider.” Jenny tried not to let her alarm show. With all Marissa had been taught in church and by her parents over the years, how was it even possible that she was considering abortion? Jenny clenched her fists, begging God for the right words. “None of this is the baby’s fault.”

  “I know.” Marissa put her hand over her midsection. “I keep thinking if only I could be brave enough, I’d have the baby and give it up for adoption. My parents know people who are desperate for a baby. I heard them talking last week at church.”

  Jenny remembered something. “There’s a couple at CKT trying to adopt also.” She tried to keep her enthusiasm at bay. Adoption might be the perfect option for Marissa.

  “The thing is, if I tell my parents, they might want me to keep the baby.” She dabbed her fingers beneath her eyes. “They’re always talking about how someday me and my brother will give them half a dozen grandbabies. That sort of thing. I’m afraid my mom would rather raise the baby than let me give it up for adoption.”

  Jenny leaned back in her seat. No wonder Marissa hadn’t said anything to her parents. She bit her lip. “I think your mom would be more understanding than that. Adoption is a wonderful choice for a lot of girls. If you were honest with how you feel, I’m sure they’d stand by you and support an adoption.”

  Marissa twisted her face and shook her head. “Do you know how disappointed they’re going to be?”

  “They’ll still love you.” Bailey reached over and put her hand on Marissa’s shoulder. “They’ll get over the shock—you know they will.”

  “Maybe.”

  “We could be with you.” Jenny had thought about the idea before, but she hadn’t remembered it until now. “If you want, Bailey and I could be there when you tell them.”

  Marissa shook her head. “That’d only make my mom madder. Because you two knew before she did.”

  Jenny could understand that. She stood and moved to the spot on the sofa next to Marissa. “I know you’re scared. But please . . . don’t have an abortion. Your baby deserves to have a life; don’t you think?”

  Marissa was crying harder now, and she hung her head. Even still, she managed to mumble, “Yes.”

  “Okay, let’s take it to God.” Jenny held Marissa’s hand, and Bailey took her other one. Jenny led the prayer, asking God to give Marissa courage and a clear, honest picture of the life growing inside her. “Give Marissa the courage to talk to her parents today, Lord. Protect Marissa from the devil’s lies and help her to hear Your voice above that of her boyfriend or anyone else.”

  When they finished praying, Jenny gave Marissa the information on the Bloomington Crisis Pregnancy Center. “They have counselors who’ll talk to you and your mom.” She allowed the hint of a smile. “And they’ll give you an ultrasound so you can see live pictures of your baby.”

  Marissa nodded. She wiped her eyes and stood. “Thanks for talking to me.” She hugged Jenny, then Bailey. “It helps. Talking to my boyfriend is so . . . I don’t know, so confusing.”

  Jenny wanted to tell her to break up with the guy. He was obviously no good for her. But she couldn’t throw too much information Marissa’s way. If Marissa went against the boyfriend’s wishes, his personality was bound to get ugly. The breakup could come then.

  For now Jenny only nodded. “I’m sure it’s very confusing. That’s why we’re here.” She patted the girl’s arm. “After you talk to your mom, let Bailey know. Otherwise . . .” She hesitated, making sure Marissa understood. “I’ll have to call her.”

  “I understand.” Marissa thanked them both.

  When Marissa was gone, Bailey dropped back to her seat. “I can’t believe it.”

  “Which part?” Jenny sat next to her daughter. She too was drained. Watching Marissa grow up, she never could’ve imagined that the girl’s life would take this turn.

  “That she’s still staying with the guy, even after all this.” Bailey stared out the window at Jim and the boys. “Daddy always told me there was a sure way to know if a boy really loved you.” She turned her attention back to her mother. “If he talks you into doing physical stuff, then he doesn’t love you. Period. Because that means he’s just in it for himself.”

  “That’s not what he’ll say in the moment.” Jenny gave her a sad smile. “He’ll make it sound like it’s the best thing for both of you.”

  Bailey was quiet. “I guess I found that out with Bryan.”

  “Exactly.” Jenny put her arm around Bailey’s shoulders. “It’s very easy to fall into temptation.”

  “But it helps if you know what to look for.” Bailey smiled and patted Jenny’s hand. As she did, she stood and took a step toward the doorway. “I have math homework due Monday.” She took another few steps and stopped. “Hey, thanks, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t talk to you about stuff, you know?”

  Jenny felt her daughter’s words all
the way to the center of her soul. “I feel the same way.”

  As Bailey jogged off, Jenny couldn’t help but thank God. Because in a different set of circumstances, the girl in trouble could be Bailey. Even with great communication and even with her convictions in place, the wrong sort of guy could turn her head, and her life could change in a single hour. It was one more reason Jenny was glad for CKT. The drama group gave Bailey an outlet where, for the most part, dating was discouraged. Kids had too much fun in groups to need the one-on-one feeling of dating.

  Jenny went outside and sat on the picnic table.

  “Throw it this way, Dad!” Justin was on Jim’s team. Jim winged the ball at him, and Justin jumped to catch it. Then he was off, headed for the far side of the yard.

  “He could . . . go . . . all . . . the . . . way!” Jim held up both hands. “Touchdown!”

  Ricky plopped down on the grass and lay sprawled on his back. “I think it’s halftime.”

  “Yeah.” Shawn dropped down beside him. “We’re getting killed.”

  Jim spotted Jenny. “Okay, guys. It’s halftime. Go in and get a drink.”

  The boys scrambled for the house, laughing and teasing each other. Connor was the last to file in, and he stopped near Jenny. “Is Bailey okay?” Concern flashed in his eyes.

  Jenny loved this about her oldest son, the way he cared so much for his sister. Connor didn’t know about Marissa, but he could sense something was wrong. That much was obvious. Jenny took his hand. “She’s fine. The talk was for Marissa, not Bailey.”

  “Is Marissa in trouble?”

  Jenny didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want to shatter Connor’s innocence either. It was too soon for him to know the details of Marissa’s situation. “She’s got some things she needs to tell her parents. That’s all.”

  “Oh.” Relief showed on Connor’s face. “I hope she figures it out.”

  “Me too.”

  Connor went in and Jim jogged up. “Hey, gorgeous.”