To the Moon and Back Read online

  “We’re stopping for gas at the next exit, right, Dad?” Cole shifted forward and looked at Landon.

  “Yes, sir! Next exit!” Landon grinned.

  Ashley could only admire him. Landon had always loved road trips with the family. These were his favorite vacations. He’d told Ashley that a thousand times.

  Cole sat in the seat directly behind Ashley. He grabbed the walkie-talkie from the cup holder and held it to his mouth. “Stopping for gas at the next exit.” Cole loved the handheld device. “Roger?”

  A static sound came from the speaker. Then RJ’s voice. “Roger! Over.”

  “Over and out.” Cole leaned in to the space between the two front seats. He looked at Ashley. “This thing is amazing. I can’t believe you talked like this in the olden days.”

  Ashley looked at Landon. “Olden days?” She mouthed the question.

  “Hey now!” Landon shook his head. “We’re not that old, Cole.”

  “I know.” Cole patted both of their shoulders. “Just teasing.”

  They’d already been on the road for two hours. Ashley watched Landon pull off at the next exit. Her husband was more handsome than ever. He wore a white T-shirt and dark jeans, his arms and face tanned from his daily jog, his dark hair short to his head. The muscles in his shoulders were as defined as they were back when the two of them got married.

  Ashley flipped the visor down and used the mirror to check on the kids. Devin was in the seat next to Cole, and Amy and Janessa were in the back row. Last night when they were loading up the car, Ashley had pulled Amy aside and taken her to a quiet bench in the backyard. Ashley was glad for the moment. She had been meaning to ask her niece if she felt nervous about the trip.

  After all, it was on a road trip from Texas to Bloomington that Amy’s family was rear-ended by a semi truck. For weeks now Amy had seemed excited about the adventure ahead—especially seeing the Oklahoma memorial site. But Ashley thought she should hear from her niece on the subject. Just in case.

  “Are you worried?” They had settled in on the bench and Ashley had taken hold of Amy’s hand. “About the drive?”

  Amy hesitated for a minute. “Sometimes.” Her voice was quiet. “When I really think about it.” She looked across the field toward the stream that ran behind the old Baxter house. Then she turned to Ashley. “The Bible says to live is Christ. To die is gain.” Her smile didn’t quite fill her face. “I believe that.”

  “Me, too.” The Scripture had helped Ashley learn to live in such a way that she didn’t feel heartbroken for Amy every time she saw her. All of them had learned to live normal lives again. Almost. Ashley felt tears well in her eyes. “Just look how many people we have in heaven. Right?”

  “Yes.” Amy’s expression softened. She lifted her eyes to the starry sky. “When I think about that, I have nothing to worry about.”

  Her wisdom was breathtaking.

  Ashley watched Amy now, curled up with her pillow in the third row. She and Janessa had been sleeping for the past hour. Before that they were playing I Spy and giggling over things they’d spotted along the drive.

  Ashley flipped the visor up and exhaled. She shifted so she could see Landon better. “Amy’s come so far.”

  “She has.” Landon smiled. He kept his voice low. “Thanks to God . . . and you.”

  “And you.” Ashley reached for his hand. They had all helped with Amy’s healing. “You’re wonderful to her.”

  Landon squeezed her hand as he turned in to the gas station. Ashley’s sister Kari and her husband, Ryan Taylor, and their three children had followed them the whole morning. Ryan towed a pair of Jet Skis behind his truck, and he pulled the entire rig up to the pump across the way. It was supposed to be unseasonably warm this week. But they had brought wetsuits just in case.

  Fifteen minutes later they were on the road again. During the next stretch, Cole chose the music and everyone sang along. There was Colton Dixon’s “Through All of It” and Danny Gokey’s latest hit, along with songs from Francesca Battistelli, Newsboys, Natalie Grant, MercyMe, and Matthew West.

  At one point they were all singing at the top of their lungs. “Hello, my name is . . . Child of the One True King. I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free!”

  Ashley grinned at Landon. Most of them weren’t the greatest singers. Amy probably had the best voice in the family. But the sound was joyful all the same and it made the final leg of the trip fly by.

  They reached Branson just after three o’clock and checked into their hotel. Then both families climbed back into the cars and drove the short distance to the beach. They laid out their blankets not far from the boat launch.

  Half an hour later the Jet Skis were flying across the lake. Landon and Ryan took the first round while the kids cheered them on from the shore. Ashley and Kari settled into chairs near the blankets.

  “What a great day.” Kari looked at her and took a deep breath. “Easier than when the kids were little.”

  “Right?” Ashley laughed. “Diaper changes at gas stations. I don’t miss that.”

  Kari stared at the kids still jumping around on the sand. “So true. But still . . . I sometimes long for those days.” She blinked a few times, like she was just seeing their kids for the first time in awhile. “When did they get so old?”

  Usually Ashley tried not to think about that fact. This was Cole’s junior year, and already he was talking about colleges. Liberty University was at the top of his list. He had heard about it from Connor Flanigan, the son of their good friends. Every time she thought about Cole moving away, Ashley’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Live in the moment, appreciate every day.” Ashley watched Cole pick up Janessa and run toward the water as she shrieked with delight. A smile filled Ashley’s words. “God gives us only so many days with our families. As long as we know that, we can live without regret.”

  “Agreed.” Kari stared toward the water. “Even when it seems they’re growing up right before our eyes.”

  Ashley appreciated the time with Kari. Sure they saw each other at family dinners and holidays, at Clear Creek Community Church each Sunday and on the occasional day at the nail salon. But there was something very special about having a week together.

  Kari stretched her legs. “I wish the others could’ve come. I really thought Brooke might.”

  “It should be a law—all spring breaks must be on the same week.” Ashley uttered a light laugh. “I guess that’s not very likely.”

  Kari shaded her eyes and nodded toward the kids. “They love playing together.”

  “If they don’t kill themselves!” Ashley laughed. Devin and RJ were running up and down the shore, trying to push each other into the water. Just at that moment they both wound up in the lake, splashing and dunking each other. Ashley sighed. “At least it’s all in fun.”

  Kari laughed. “Boys.” They were quiet for a moment. “What’s the story with the new movie for Dayne?”

  The setting sun was warm against Ashley’s shoulders. Perfect after the chilly start to spring. She filled her lungs with the fresh lakeside air. “Dayne said he’ll produce it, and he and Katy will star in it.”

  “Really?” Kari looked surprised. “They haven’t done that in years.”

  “They miss it.” Ashley smiled at her sister. “They think this one will be big. Not just at the box office. Dayne said the message is just what our country needs. It’s called Shades of Blue. About healing after abortion.”

  “Wow.” Kari faced the water again. “Powerful. I’m glad they’re working together.”

  Ashley was happy for Dayne and Katy, too. “I only hope they don’t stay in L.A. too long. Their kids love Indiana.”

  “True. They’re crazy about their cousins.” Kari grinned.

  Ashley stood and stretched. “Come on. Let’s join the kids.”

  “I was just thinking that.” Kari smiled.

  The sand felt warm on Ashley’s toes. Everything about Table Rock Lake rem
inded her of Lake Monroe back home and the dozens of beautiful times their family had shared there. She glanced at Kari. “One of these days we’ll get all five of us and our families together for a family vacation. Somewhere at the beach. Florida, maybe.” She paused. “Even if we need to plan it a year in advance.”

  “I agree.” Kari smiled. They were almost to the shoreline. “Can you imagine? So fun!”

  Cole was the first to run to them, a football in his hands. “I’m next on the Jet Skis. Jessie, too.” He tossed the ball to Ashley. “You and Aunt Kari should play catch.”

  Kari laughed. “Last time I caught a football I jammed my finger.” She shook her head. “It’s Frisbee for me.”

  Devin must’ve heard the conversation. He was Cole’s Mini-Me, an almost exact, younger, blond replica of his older brother. His eyes lit up. “I’ll play with you, Mom!”

  Ashley wasn’t very good at throwing a ball, but for Devin she would try. They found a spot a few yards from the others and Ashley gave it her best effort.

  “Mom!” Devin snagged the ball from the air. “Look how good you are! You’ve been practicing!”

  Everyone laughed, and Jessie and Annie high-fived. “Yay for Aunt Ashley!” Jessie jumped around, her hands in the air. “You should play for the Colts!” She skipped closer and fist-bumped Ashley. “I’ll be the cheerleader!”

  This was what Ashley loved about vacations together. No clocks. No reason to leave the beach. Just fun and family and laughter. And on this occasion, even a little football.

  Ryan and Landon pulled up on the Jet Skis and turned the machines over to Cole and Jessie. Landon came up the beach and watched Ashley. The sun glistened on his bare arms as he brushed the water from his shorts.

  Ashley could feel his admiration without looking at him. She caught the ball, repositioned her fingers on the laces and threw it back to Devin.

  “See, Dad?” Devin grinned. “Mom’s crazy good at this!”

  Landon closed the gap between them and kissed her cheek. He winked at Devin. “I taught her everything I know.”

  Amy was building a sand castle with RJ. She yelled out her approval, too. “You taught her good, Uncle Landon! Just watch her!”

  Ashley held on to the moment. The sun almost to the horizon, the sky still warm and clear and blue. Diamonds of light dancing on the lake and her family gathered around her. Everyone whole and healthy and happy.

  Even Amy.

  An hour later they were done for the day. The sky was nearly dark as they loaded the Jet Skis onto Kari and Ryan’s trailer.

  When they were back in their SUV and the kids were buckled in behind them, Landon smiled at her. “You really were impressive with that football.”

  She could feel the sparkle in her eyes, the way she felt it so often around Landon. “I did know a little before I met you.” She stifled a laugh. “Truth be told.”

  He chuckled and fixed his eyes on the road ahead. “Whatever happened to the idea of your dad and Elaine joining us?”

  “They talked about it.” Ashley would’ve loved that. There were only so many chances for her dad and his wife to join them for a spring break like this. She turned to see Landon better. “Dad had a conference at the hospital.” She thought about how healthy her father was, how committed to the field of medicine, to helping people. “He might be retired, but that doesn’t stop him. The younger doctors need someone to teach them, you know.”

  Landon smiled and gave a slight shake of his head. “I want to be like him when I grow up.”

  “Mmm.” Ashley rested her head against the seat. “Me, too.”

  Back at the hotel, they got ready and met in the lobby for dinner. After they ate, everyone gathered in the hotel’s private theater, adjacent to the restaurant. That night both families filled the place and Amy sat next to Ashley as they watched Disney’s Tangled.

  Ashley took a mental snapshot of the evening.

  If today were a painting, the most obvious setting would be the scene from earlier, her family playing at the beach. But Ashley felt more drawn to paint the one here, inside the theater. Not the movie screen or the seats or the entire group of them. But just Amy and her, and the fact that even at twelve years old, Amy still felt comfortable to hold Ashley’s hand.

  That simple gesture was proof that Ashley had become more mom than aunt to the girl. Even if Ashley would never replace the mother her sister Erin had been. Still, Amy’s hand in her own assured Ashley that however much healing was still ahead, they were on the right path.

  And God, in all His mercy, was with them.

  • • •

  THEY SPENT THE first four days of the trip in Branson, playing on the beach and letting the kids take turns on the Jet Skis. A couple times, Ashley and Kari even took the little ones, Janessa and Annie, for a slow ride along the shore. Then in the late afternoons they’d head into town.

  Each day was a different adventure. They played mini golf and rode go-karts and toured the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum. All the kids loved the room with the slanted floors and the mirrors that made Cole look two feet taller than Landon.

  “You wish.” Devin laughed.

  Landon raised his brow. “It’s not too far-fetched.” He put his arm around Cole’s shoulders. “Cole’s about to pass me up. Any day now.”

  By the end of the four days, Ashley had already taken hundreds of pictures—some with her camera, some with her heart—memories to hold close years from now.

  When the kids were grown and gone.

  As for the pictures on her camera, once they were back home she would make an album of their fun times this week. Each of the kids would get a copy. Photo books were among Ashley’s favorite ways to create proof of the years gone by.

  Wednesday afternoon they packed up their vehicles and headed to Oklahoma City. Tomorrow was the anniversary of the bombing. The day Amy wanted to be at the memorial. The day they gave out saplings from the Survivor Tree. After they checked into their hotel rooms and once the kids were tucked in and asleep, Landon hit the lights.

  In the darkness, Landon reached for her hand and rolled onto his side. He spoke close to her face. “I love you, Ashley. Everything about you.”

  “Thanks.” She slid closer and kissed him on his lips, quiet so they wouldn’t wake the kids, sleeping in the bed beside them. “I love you, too.”

  Landon paused, and even in the stillness Ashley could tell something was weighing on him.

  “What are you thinking?” She kept her voice quiet.

  “About Amy’s sapling.” He put his hand on Ashley’s cheek. “I’ve been praying she gets one. There’s no guarantee.”

  “I know.” She thought for a minute. Then she whispered, “We’ll get there right when it opens. That should help.”

  Landon kissed her again and another time. Then he settled in on his side of the bed. “You’ll have to tell me all about it.”

  “I will. Good night, love.”

  “Good night.”

  Ashley rolled onto her back and stared toward the window. Their new hotel was in the heart of Oklahoma City, not far from the memorial. Her eyes were adjusting to the dark, and now she could see lights from adjacent hotels and buildings.

  God, please . . . let Amy get a sapling. I have no idea how we’ll care for it on vacation, but we’ll figure it out. It’s just . . . it matters so much to her.

  Ashley lay there, silent. Waiting. Sometimes when she prayed she heard from God. A Scripture or something He had been laying on her heart. But not tonight. Tonight there was just the soft breathing of the kids sleeping and the nearness of Landon. She closed her eyes. God would come through on this. Ashley was sure.

  Because if anyone deserved their own Survivor Tree, it was Amy.

  3

  T homas “Brady” Bradshaw had been counting down the days for a month. The way he always did when springtime rolled around. For the past few weeks, his work as a firefighter for Oklahoma City had taken second seat to his memories and hearta
che, his confusion and anger. And all of it led to this one day. This one morning.

  The anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing.

  Brady had the day off. He pulled his motorcycle into a spot near the back of the memorial parking lot and killed the engine. For a long time he just sat there, helmet and sunglasses still in place.

  He was twenty-eight now. Twenty-three years removed from the little boy he had been when the bomb went off. The sky overhead was clear today. Some years it rained. A few years had seen storms and even a tornado warning or two. Brady could see today’s events as clearly as if they’d already happened.

  It was the same every anniversary.

  People would stream through the front gates, quiet and somber. Some of them tourists, curious people passing through, remembering for the first time in years the terrible terrorist attack that had happened here. In America’s heartland. They would walk the grounds and take pictures. Look at the exhibits in the museum and stop by the gift shop. A mug and a postcard later and they’d be on their way. Off to explore the nearest park or Frontier City.

  Brady released his grip on the handlebars and stared at the memorial. The people here today wouldn’t all be tourists. Some would be connected to the bombing. They might’ve lost a friend or a family member. Or they may have survived the attack from inside the building. For those people—like Brady—the anniversary of the bombing was reverent. A day they would never forget.

  But only a small number were really anything like him. For Brady, the Oklahoma City bombing was personal.

  He shoved up the sleeves on his navy sweatshirt and stared at his forearms. When people looked at him they didn’t see the scars. They saw the guy who had done a season on the Survivor show. A guy modeling agencies once fought over.

  Brady never wanted any part of it.

  He didn’t do Survivor to become famous. Battling fires in Oklahoma City was his passion, not standing in front of a camera. He only did Survivor because he was one. And if anyone could prove it, he could. Never mind that he lost in the second round. The show couldn’t hold a candle to real survival.