This Side of Heaven Read online

  Unless and until Josh could come up with the money. Beyond that, they would hire a private investigator who would show the judge the sort of person Maria was, how she’d tricked Josh into sleeping with her even though she was married. When it was all said and done, the investigator would know exactly how many men Maria had been with, lending credence to the fact that Savannah’s father could have been any of the men her mother had bedded, the point being that Maria Cameron hadn’t been interested in establishing Josh’s paternity until there was money at stake. And since at the same time she refused Josh access to his daughter, Thomas thought they had a chance of winning the case.

  If the situation had been different, if Maria had been in contact with Josh and if she’d been a more fit mother, Annie and Nate wouldn’t mind letting the money go to Savannah. But the woman’s greed and character had already been established. Now Annie and Nate sat across from each other at their kitchen table and talked about the battle ahead.

  “What did Thomas say about setting up a college fund?” Annie’s head was swimming with the legalities of taking on the system. In the meantime, the attorneys for the insurance company were nearer every day to a settlement. Thomas would have to make his case about Savannah not being a legitimate heir quickly. Otherwise, the money would go to Maria Cameron without a fight. Once she took hold of it, the chances of winning it back from her were almost nonexistent.

  Nate locked his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair. “It’s possible. We can tell the judge we’d like to put an amount, a hundred thousand dollars, say, in a trust fund for Savannah’s college years. Two hundred thousand, even. Her mother couldn’t touch it because the money wouldn’t be for Savannah’s care and support. It would be only for her college expenses.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do. That way everyone wins.” She thought about that. “Besides, the judge will be more likely to see things our way if he knows we’re willing to help Savannah. It’s her mother we’re trying to avoid.”

  They’d been home for several hours, but not until Nate stood for a glass of water did he notice the blinking light on their home phone answering machine. He pressed a series of buttons and a tiny voice filled the room. “This is Mary beth Elmer, manager of your son’s apartment buiding. We’ve spoken before. I need to tell you that a Cody Gunner is looking to talk to you. He left his phone number.” The woman went over the number twice slowly. “Maybe you can give him a call and see what he wants. His brother is one of our tenants.”

  Nate played the message again and wrote down the phone number of Cody Gunner. Annie had never heard of the guy, but if he was the brother of one of the tenants, maybe he knew something about Josh—another detail that would add to the new way they’d come to see and know their only son.

  “It’s too late to call him tonight.” Nate set the piece of paper with Cody’s number on the counter next to the phone.

  “Remind me to call him in the morning.”

  “Okay.” Nate sat back at the table and pulled the paperwork close. He flipped through the top five pages and took a little longer with the sixth and final page. “I think we should sign it. We’re doing the right thing, Annie.”

  “There’s no way Josh would’ve wanted that woman taking his settlement.”

  “Absolutely not.”

  In the distant rooms of her heart, Annie remembered her prayer, her promise that she would let God show her if at any point in the battle for Josh’s settlement they were doing something that went against the Lord’s plan in all this. But today there had been no voice advising them not to move ahead with their motion. Maria Cameron had used Josh one too many times already, without her walking off with his money.

  After all, the accident cost him his life, his chance for a future with Becky Wheaton, his dreams of making a new career for himself, and saddest of all, his opportunity to be a father to Savannah. It belonged to Josh’s family to decide where Josh would have wanted the settlement money to go—not to a stranger like Maria Cameron.

  For a slight moment, Annie wondered what it would be like to meet Savannah, to look into her eyes and see a part of her son looking back at her. If they lost the battle, Annie had every intention of asking for visitation rights. If the courts deemed Savannah to be Josh’s rightful heir, then the privilege would have to come with a responsibility on the part of Maria Cameron—to connect her daughter with Josh’s family.

  At least Annie hoped that would happen if they lost. But what if they won? Would that mean they’d never have the opportunity to meet the child, to hug her even one time the way Josh had never been able to? Annie didn’t like the way that felt, as if winning the legal battle was more important than meeting Savannah. But maybe somehow God would allow both—their rightful victory in court, and a meeting with Josh’s little girl.

  She wasn’t sure about much of anything except that they needed to sign the papers. Nate went first, and then it was her turn. But as she signed her name on the line clearly marked by their attorney, it took everything Annie had to remind herself that this battle was against Maria Cameron.

  And not against Josh’s precious Savannah.

  TWENTY

  The twitches and rapid heartbeats were happening more often, constant fleshly reminders that she had to play it straight. Very straight. At least until the settlement came. Maria looked at the glowing red numbers on the table next to her bed. Seven-fifteen. She sat on the edge of her bed and stretched her arms over her head. Life had become crazy and she had no idea how to handle the pressure. At least not sober.

  Maria had an attorney now, someone Freddy had recommended. The attorney was his idea after a call from Thomas Flynn last Thursday telling her that Josh’s family was fighting for the money. Of all the nerve. Savannah was Josh’s only kid, his only heir, as Josh’s lawyer liked to say. The case should be open-and-shut, and three months from now she and Savannah should be sitting in the lap of luxury. That’s what her attorney said. He’d found out the numbers Thomas wouldn’t tell her during that first phone call: a cool two million dollars. That’s what she and her baby girl stood to win if things went right. Two million. Josh had finally reached the big time. He’d gotten himself hit by a rich drunk driver, and now the payout was weeks away.

  Maria picked up the business card on the table next to the alarm clock. “Harry Dreskin, Attorney-at-Law,” the card read. Harry was a good guy. He worked out of a tiny office on the Upper West Side. Maria had met with him twice already and as far as she could tell Harry was beside himself to be working on a respectable case like hers. Helping his client rope in a settlement for a kid without a father? What could be more honest and good than that?

  Harry didn’t want money up front, which made him the perfect lawyer. But he’d hinted around that a little bedroom action could cut his fees quite a bit once the settlement came. Maria was mildly interested, but she turned him down because mothers—real mothers like the ones she saw playing with their kids in the park—didn’t sleep with men as a way of bringing down the cost of legal fees, or rent, or blow, or anything else.

  Maria thought about the day ahead. She and Savannah couldn’t sit around Freddy’s place. Not today. They had to clean it and get lost. Freddy had a business deal with a group of characters who scared even Maria. After that, more scary was the trip she had to take to Denver tomorrow. First time she’d flown anywhere since the junket to Vegas eight years ago.

  The trip was part of this new fight for the money, naturally. Her attorney said it would take some time since they couldn’t afford the airfare and would have to borrow a car and drive to Colorado, so Josh’s attorney bought tickets for her and Savannah. He was even going to put them up in a fancy hotel—a Holiday Inn with a free breakfast. The trip wasn’t the scary part. The reason she was going, that’s what made her afraid. Some judge in Denver said she had to come and testify about Savannah being Josh’s daughter, and how come she never let Josh visit her.

  She’d come up with one lie after another si
nce she got news of the trip. The attorney would ask her why she hadn’t let Savannah see Josh, and she would smile sweetly and say, “I gave Josh the chance to see his daughter, but he wasn’t interested.” Maria’s heart picked up speed. No, maybe that lie wouldn’t work. Josh’s family probably knew how hard he’d tried to see Savannah.

  She bit her lip. There was the other lie. “I gave Josh the chance to spend time with his daughter, but he could never afford to make the trip.” Again, she would give the attorney her sweetest smile. “I kept hoping he’d find a way to visit us, to connect with Savannah, but it never happened.”

  Somehow between today and Wednesday—two days from now—she would have to come up with something solid, a believable story that would prove she hadn’t intentionally kept Savannah from her father. Otherwise, there could be some question as to whether Savannah should be his rightful heir.

  She reached out her toe and nudged Savannah’s foot. “Wake up, sleepy. It’s a new day.” Maria’s heart was still racing, her right eye still twitching just beneath her lower lashes. Every part of her body screamed for a drink or a hit—anything to dull the anxiety closing in around her. But even so, she silently congratulated herself at the way she talked to Savannah just now. She almost sounded like a real mother.

  Savannah sat up and moved her blankets to the corner of the room, far enough beneath the desk that they were out of sight. “ ’Morning, Mama.” She yawned and blinked a few times. “Is there breakfast today?”

  The question frustrated Maria. “When have we missed breakfast? Not for two weeks now, right?” Maria started to roll her eyes but she caught herself. Harry told her that the attorneys for Josh’s family would probably put everyone breathing on the witness stand. That meant some stranger could come sniffing around asking Savannah what sort of mother she had, and whether Savannah was happy living with Maria.

  If she was going to be in charge of the girl’s two million dollars, then Maria didn’t want a single doubt about whether her daughter would tell the lawyers she was happy. Happy and well fed. Maria led the way out of the bedroom. They needed to clean the place today. Freddy’s orders. Keep Savannah happy, keep enough food in the kitchen, pay the rent, clean the place. So much to worry about. Maria walked to the cupboard and pulled out a box of Cap’n Crunch. The pressure would be a lot easier to handle if she could drink just a little. A swig of whiskey now and then.

  They were finished with breakfast and halfway through the cleaning job when the phone rang. Normally, Maria avoided Freddy’s phone, but since the whole settlement thing had come up, she didn’t miss a call. She picked it up on the second ring and reminded herself to use her best motherly voice. “Hello?”

  “Maria, it’s Harry.”

  “Hey.” She relaxed. “I got Flynn’s package in the mail. I’m all set for tomorrow’s trip to Denver.”

  “Right, well, that’s why I’m calling. I filed a motion with the court and the judge thinks he can resolve the case without your testimony.”

  Maria’s eye stopped twitching. “What does that mean?”

  “It means you don’t have to fly to Denver.” He allowed only a quick break in between sentences. “That’s not saying you won’t have to fly out some other time to testify, but for now you can stay home. We’ll be talking to the judge and I’ll call you later this week.”

  The thrill of victory rushed through Maria’s veins like a drug. “Well, that’s the best news of the day.”

  “I’m sure it is. I’ll be in touch.” When he hung up, she eyed the whiskey bottle tucked back in the corner of the kitchen counter. “Savannah?”

  “Yes, Mama?” Her voice came from the bathroom upstairs. “Do you need something?”

  “Are you almost finished up there?”

  “No.” Her voice sounded closer and there was the sound of her feet on the stairs. When she was in sight, she gave Maria a nervous look. “I still have to wash the windows and the sink.”

  “Okay.” Maria gave a lighthearted laugh. “Just checking. I want to make sure we have plenty of time in the park later. Plus Freddy has that meeting here.”

  “I’ll hurry.” Savannah’s eyes were wide with concern as she hurried back up the stairs.

  Maria waited until she heard the girl working in the bathroom again, then she grabbed the whiskey bottle and jerked the top from the glass neck. Being sober was one thing, but no one would know if she took a small drink. How else could she celebrate the attorney’s great news? Whatever had happened between the two lawyers, Harry Dreskin had clearly won this first battle. She didn’t need to fly to Denver, which meant she didn’t need to lie about letting Josh see Savannah.

  This legal thing was a breeze, and one day soon she’d get a check in the mail for two million dollars. She held the bottle of golden liquid to her nose and breathed deep. The whiskey smelled wonderful. She could feel herself relaxing just from the intoxicating scent of it. She glanced up at the stairs one more time and reminded herself to hurry. She couldn’t have Savannah find out she’d been drinking again. Even Harry Dreskin told her to stay clean if she wanted the money.

  This was different, though. She had a reason to celebrate, and besides, no one would ever know. She put the bottle to her lips and took a small sip. The liquid felt smooth and seductive on her tongue, and it burned deliciously as it slid down her throat. She took another sip and another. Already the alcohol was spreading through her, warming her and slowing her heart rate. She needed this—she deserved it. But if she was going to soothe her cravings she needed more than a few quick gulps. Who knew when she’d have the chance to drink again?

  Once more she looked for Savannah, listened for her footsteps. When she was sure the girl wasn’t going to catch her, she turned the bottle bottom side up and guzzled several long swigs. Enough so that she’d really feel it. Then she quick twisted the top back on and slid the bottle back to its place on the counter. The dizzying euphoria flooded through her, over her. This was the life, filling herself with warm, welcoming whiskey and having all day ahead to enjoy the feeling.

  She finished tidying the kitchen, cleaning the counters and sweeping the floors. She wasn’t quite steady on her feet, but that part would wear off before they left the apartment. Maria remembered the routine, even if it had been a while.

  Savannah came down after a while and for a long moment she studied Maria. Finally, a nervous laugh came from Maria’s lips, a laugh that was probably too loud. “What ya lookin’ at?”

  “Mama? Are you—are you okay?”

  “Jus’ tired, baby girl.” She laughed again, quieter this time. “All this work has me tuckered out.”

  Savannah looked doubtful. She looked around the kitchen until her eyes seemed to fall on the place where the whiskey bottle sat. “Did you drink, Mama? Is that what you did?”

  “Of course not.” Maria turned her attention back to the broom in her hand. How could a seven-year-old be so smart, anyway?

  “Did you drink Freddy’s whiskey?”

  “Listen!” Maria spun around and glared at her daughter. “Are you callin’ me a liar?”

  “No, Mama.” Savannah took a step back.

  Maria hated this, when Savannah acted afraid of her. She closed the distance between them and grabbed Savannah’s arm. “Don’t call me a liar, you un’erstand?”

  “Sorry. Sorry, Mama.” Savannah started to cry. “You told me you weren’t gonna drink.”

  “And I didn’t drink. You never saw me drink, okay?”

  “Okay.” Savannah jerked her arm free and rubbed the place where a line of red marks stood out. “I’m sorry.”

  “You better be.” Maria gave her daughter a shove for good measure. Brat. Trying to ruin a perfectly good day. She was about to say so when she remembered she was supposed to be treating Savannah differently. Better than before. She swept the other half of the kitchen floor, and she was almost done when she realized how dizzy she was. The whiskey was making the room tilt, and Maria was angry at herself for drinking so
much. She could have done with half of what she’d gulped down. The floor felt wobbly beneath her, and suddenly she leaned wrong on the broom and wound up flat on the floor. Quickly, she lifted herself to her hands and knees and cursed softly.

  “Mama.” Savannah rushed to her side. “Are you hurt?”

  “No.” She used her daughter’s shoulder to stand up and then she smiled her nicest smile. “Mama’s sorry about earlier. I’m jus’ tired, like I said.” She messed her fingers through Savannah’s reddish-blond hair. “Let’s get ready for the day, okay?”

  Savannah still looked nervous, but she nodded. They got dressed and took the subway to Central Park, same as always. Halfway to their spot, Maria grabbed a fistful of dirt and rubbed it on her face and Savannah’s.

  “I hate this, Mama. No more dirt, please!”

  “Shhh.” Maria put her hand against her daughter’s mouth. The effects of the whiskey were already wearing off, her body already craving one more swig, one more rush. “We won’t beg much longer, baby girl. We have to have the dirt or people won’t give us anything.”

  She had made a sign last week that read “Please help me feed my daughter.” She carried it in a grocery bag and when they found their spot on a bench across from the zoo entrance, Maria pulled it out. It seemed to work. People tossed fives and tens their way without thinking twice. Yesterday they’d brought home more than a hundred dollars, most of which she gave to Freddy for rent. She was paying her way now. It was more respectable that way, more like a mother should be. But today the money would be hers, and she could take Savannah out for pizza later or maybe to a movie. That would keep the kid happy, and keeping Savannah happy was very important now.

  That’s what mothers were supposed to do, keep their kids happy. But Maria had to be honest with herself, trying to be a good mother had to account for at least some of her twitches and racing heart. They begged for five hours without a break. After that, they went out for pizza, and when Savannah took a trip to the bathroom, Maria ordered herself a pitcher of beer.