The Baxters Page 5

  Ashley faced the two of them and wrinkled her brow. “Please tell me they’re not having a sermon. Pastor Mark should stick to saying nice things about Kari and Tim, and get straight to the vows.”

  “True.” Brooke didn’t hesitate. “No one needs an altar call at a wedding. That’s a little manipulative if you ask me.”

  And just like that the tension returned with a vengeance. “Girls.” Elizabeth started a new curl on Brooke’s head. She worked to keep her tone controlled. “I’m almost positive Pastor Mark will talk about Kari and Tim’s faith. Kari wants that and it’s her decision.” She glanced back at the door. “Kari will be down any minute. I’d hate for her to hear any of this.”

  Brooke shared a knowing look with Ashley. Then she turned to Elizabeth. “You need to get used to the fact that a few of us just don’t believe the way you do.” She put her hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “It’s normal that through academics or experience, young adults become enlightened to a bigger world, Mom. It’s progressive.”

  Times like this Elizabeth wanted to shout at her oldest daughter, tell her to look around at the proof of God in every created thing. Including her little daughter, Maddie. But that wouldn’t convince Brooke to believe again. And it wasn’t Elizabeth’s job to make Brooke and Ashley find their way back to faith.

  Only God could do that.

  Elizabeth drew a slow breath. “You and Ashley will never be forced to share your family’s beliefs, Brooke.” She finished the last curl and stepped back. Elizabeth’s heart was breaking, but she worked hard to hide it. “Today, however, I’m asking you to respect whatever your sister wants at her wedding. Even if that means listening to the entire Gospel of John.”

  Ashley shot a look at Brooke and then turned to Elizabeth. “Brooke wasn’t trying to start a fight, Mom.”

  “I know.” Elizabeth exhaled. Peace, God… give me peace. Please. She took her time. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t want any problems today.”

  “There won’t be.” Brooke looked surprised. Like the idea was outlandish. “But we’re allowed to have our opinions.”

  What could Elizabeth say to that? She worked her fingers through Brooke’s hair. “How do you like it?”

  “Pretty.” Brooke smiled, as if none of the previous conversation had happened. “Now my eyes! I can never do them like you do.”

  For the next ten minutes while she worked on Brooke’s eye makeup, Elizabeth fought another wave of heaviness in her heart. These two precious daughters, both rejecting the faith they’d been raised with? How was that even possible? Brooke had nearly died in childbirth with Maddie, but God had spared her. And now her daughter was the picture of health. Didn’t that mean anything?

  And Ashley? Home from Paris with Cole and a second chance at life? Welcomed back and loved by the family she left behind? How could the girls not see God at work? What about the countless times they’d seen God rescue them and lead them and protect them? The million answered prayers over the years?

  A crack of thunder shook the house.

  Ashley peered out the window. “There’s supposed to be a tornado later.” She raised her eyebrows in Brooke’s direction. “Probably just as they say ‘I do.’ ”

  Brooke shot her sister a side glance. “Mom thinks Tim is a very nice man.” She sounded borderline mean. “So…”

  “Girls!” Elizabeth cast a sharp look at Ashley and then Brooke. “Kari will be down any minute. I won’t have that talk.” She took a shaky breath. “Not another word.”

  “Sorry. We aren’t trying to be rude.” Ashley frowned. Sincerity replaced her tone. “I guess it doesn’t matter. Too late to change things now, right?” Ashley hesitated. For a long moment she seemed to take in Elizabeth’s expression, and maybe the hurt in her eyes. Ashley leaned her forearms on the folding table. “I really am sorry. You’re right.” She exhaled. “Kari is choosing him.” She looked at Brooke and back at Elizabeth. “We’ll stay positive.”

  “We will.” Brooke must’ve known she’d crossed a line, too. “The past is the past at this point. We’ll all learn to love Tim. In time.”

  “Exactly.” Elizabeth couldn’t tell them about her feelings of impending disaster or about the fact that deep in her heart she hoped Brooke was right. She felt the slightest bit of relief come against the storm inside her. “Thank you. Both of you.”

  Elizabeth finished Brooke’s eye makeup and then she started on Ashley’s hair. A change of subject. That’s what her daughters needed. Elizabeth caught Ashley’s glance in the mirror. “Landon’s coming today. I told you, right?”

  A myriad of conflicting emotions flashed in Ashley’s eyes. “I know.” She turned her head so Elizabeth could work better. “I might leave early.”

  “I thought you’d be happy.” Elizabeth couldn’t find solid ground here. No matter what they talked about. “You said it was okay to invite him. He’s been your friend since—”

  “Fifth grade. You always say that, Mom. Like I could ever forget.” Ashley sat a little straighter. “I wish he wasn’t coming.” She blew a stray piece of her hair from her forehead. “Seeing him… it’s too hard.”

  “You said you two were friends.” Even Brooke looked confused.

  “Me and Landon Blake?” Ashley’s smile was tinged with a very deep sorrow. “We could never be just friends. And we could never be more.” She shrugged one shoulder. “We’ve become very different people. Faith. The future. All of it. We’ve moved on.” Her voice fell a notch. “If only I could get my heart to agree.”

  Elizabeth picked up on the deeper message in her daughter’s expression. No matter what she told herself or how different she was now, one thing remained. Ashley still loved Landon Blake, just like she’d said earlier.

  The proof shone in her eyes.

  Again, Elizabeth changed the subject. Better to talk about the dresses and flowers and fancy dinner to be served tonight than to venture down long-ago back roads. They could talk about Landon later. She finished curling Ashley’s hair and touched up her eyeliner. “So beautiful.” Elizabeth stepped back and admired Brooke and Ashley. “You two look stunning.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Brooke stood and grabbed her bag just as Kari walked in.

  Ashley was on her feet, too, and she and Brooke embraced their sister.

  “It’s here!” Ashley kissed her cheek. “You’re getting married today!”

  “I know.” Something in Kari’s eyes made her look more anxious than excited. She looked at her sisters one at a time. “Can you believe it?”

  Brooke took hold of her hand. “We’re here for you, Kari.” She hugged her sister again. “If you’re happy, we’re happy.” She hesitated. “We all love Tim. Really.”

  Elizabeth held her breath. Thank You, God. This was how she had hoped Brooke and Ashley would act around Kari. Keeping their deepest concerns to themselves.

  “I’m glad.” Kari laughed, but it sounded a little forced. “He loves all of you. And that means a lot. Thank you.”

  From the distance, they heard Cole start to cry. Ashley gathered her things. “Time to go.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Thanks, Mom.” She glanced in the mirror once more. “I can never get my hair to look like this.”

  Brooke thanked her mother again, and the two sisters left.

  Now it was just Elizabeth and her second-oldest daughter, the bride. “Come here, sweetheart.” Elizabeth held out her arms as Kari came to her. They hugged for a long moment. “It’s your wedding day, my dear.” Elizabeth pulled back and searched Kari’s eyes. “What are you feeling?”

  “So much.” Kari exhaled hard. “Fear. Joy. Doubt. The whole mix.” She set her things down on the table and turned back to Elizabeth. “I’ve never… done this.” Her eyes met Elizabeth’s. “How am I supposed to feel?”

  Elizabeth wanted her answer to be easy and lighthearted, wanted to respond to her with the sweet assurance typical for a mother on her daughter’s wedding day. But this felt different, somehow. She chose her words with care. “I think some of that is normal.” Elizabeth hesitated. She would regret it the rest of her life if she didn’t ask the question. She steadied herself. “When you say… doubt… do you mean like, you’re not sure you want to marry Tim?”

  Kari’s answer should’ve been fast and sure. Of course she wanted to marry Tim. But instead she took her time. “I don’t think so.” Her eyes looked so young, the way they’d looked when she was a little girl trying to come clean about cheating on her history test. “I mean… it took a minute this morning to remember I was getting married today.” She wrinkled her nose. “That can’t be good.”

  Be careful, Elizabeth told herself. “Talk to me, Kari. What’s in your heart?”

  Her daughter lifted her chin and gave her reflection a serious look. “I love Tim. I know that.” She nodded, as if she were convincing herself. “I want to marry him. I’ve asked myself a hundred times, and always that’s my answer.”

  Elizabeth felt herself relax a bit. “Okay, then.” She smiled at Kari. “I’d say you have your answer.” Quiet fell between them for a minute while Elizabeth ran the curling iron through Kari’s long dark hair. “Every bride feels a little nervous on her wedding day. The important thing is that God has made it clear. Tim is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. That there’s no question, he’s your first choice.”

  Kari didn’t respond. But after a few seconds, Elizabeth watched tears gather in her eyes. “First choice?”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth had worded it that way on purpose. No matter how much Kari had loved Ryan Taylor, he was her past. “That’s how you feel, right?”

  Kari sniffed and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “My first choice didn’t want me, Mother.” She managed the saddest smile. “You know that.” She drew a deep breath and her expression took on more life. “But yes… given that, Tim is my top choice.” Her eyes found Elizabeth’s. “I’m sure.”

  Nothing about that answer felt right to Elizabeth, but she didn’t say so. There was no need to probe Kari about her hesitations. She was marrying Tim. Period. Even though Elizabeth had hoped today would play out differently.

  With Kari walking up the aisle toward one man and only one.

  Ryan Taylor.

  5

  Ashley Baxter opened the door to her parents’ room and peeked inside. Cole was asleep in the crib they’d set up before he was even born. Ashley could see her son’s blond head through the slats in the bed. Without making a sound she shut the door and exhaled.

  No one would ever understand why she was uncomfortable about Landon being at Kari’s wedding today. They were two entirely different people now, it was that easy. No matter what her family wanted to believe about her. No matter what Landon wanted to believe.

  The accident had changed her. She would never be the girl she’d been back then.

  To think her mother would talk about elementary school again. As if Ashley could even remember the precocious innocent she’d been back then. Sure, Landon was the same. His character was woven into the fiber of his being. His soul would always be the same—loyal and compassionate, devoted to God and anyone else he met. Ashley might’ve been that way before, but that certainly wasn’t her now.

  Hardly.

  Even still, her parents thought she’d eventually make her way back to Landon Blake. Somewhere down the road. But they were wrong. Ashley wasn’t going to wind up with Landon any more than Kari was going to marry Ryan Taylor. Clearly.

  Those days were behind them. In the past, where they would stay.

  Ashley walked to the kitchen and sat at the familiar table near the boxed cookies. Why would Landon even want to come to the wedding today? He knew who Ashley was now, knew about her time in Paris and her pregnancy.

  No one understood better than Landon how completely Ashley had changed. After the accident, she had told Landon she no longer felt connected to him or to her family. What did any of them know about the brokenness of the world? They had a blind trust in God and beyond that they were unaware. Sweetly ignorant.

  Ashley could never be like that again. Not after the crash.

  Hadn’t she made herself clear to Landon? “You and my parents, you don’t understand.” She had told him from the hospital. “You’re too safe, Landon. Too predictable. You won’t even consider the idea that God is just a myth.”

  Landon could’ve given up on her. Instead, he had put his hand on her arm, his eyes never more kind. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do.” Ashley’s response had come sharp, ruder than she intended. Why wouldn’t he walk away? Leave her alone?

  Instead he never broke eye contact with her. “Ashley.” He stepped back, his love for her as steady as his beautiful heart. “You’re going through a phase… You’ll believe again one day and everything will be okay… God will show Himself to you.”

  She lifted the lid off the nearest box of cookies and took one. Landon was wrong. God was finished with her—if there was a God. And nothing was going to be okay again. The cookie tasted stale. She stood and walked it to the kitchen trash can. Then she poured herself a cup of coffee and took it back to her seat.

  Ashley was in charge of flowers for Kari’s wedding. Something she loved. She had spent hours yesterday getting the arrangements just right. A mix of pink and white roses from the family garden, and accents of tiny baby’s breath, which John bought from a local florist. Each vase had a burlap bow, which Ashley also had tied.

  Today she needed only to fill a box with the bows and get them to the reception hall. One of the girls from the flower shop would add the bows to the arrangements and set them at each table. Working with flowers was like painting. Getting the colors just right, every shape and detail. For Kari’s wedding, each finished centerpiece was a unique work of art.

  Even after all that had changed in Ashley’s life, her love of art remained. Which was something else Landon Blake had believed about her. That she would find a way to make it as an artist.

  Ashley leaned back in her chair and pictured him. The handsome guy who had turned her head since the first day they met.

  Landon Blake.

  She stared out the kitchen window and the years gathered like so many storm clouds. And there she was again, first day of fifth grade in Mr. Garrett’s class. Ashley had accidentally dropped a bowl of ice cream on the teacher’s head during the back-to-school social the day before.

  Landon was one of the only kids in her class who saw the whole thing go down. He came up to her at lunch that first day of school and told her that she had handled the ice cream disaster quite well.

  It took a month before Ashley realized Landon wasn’t being a menace or making fun of her. And when they took their class trip to the zoo that fall, as the students moved on to the next exhibit, Landon stayed behind with her while she sketched the giraffe. Ashley smiled at the memory. They both got lost that day, and finally in the dark, dank reptile encounter, a zoo worker had spotted them.

  “Hey! You two!” The guy ran toward them. “Stop!”

  Instead, Landon had grabbed her hand and the two of them had run through the zoo in search of their class. Trying to avoid zoo jail. A couple of explorers, they had called themselves. Ashley smiled. She could feel Landon’s young fingers against hers.

  That was also the year when some kid named Elliot accidentally blew a giant gum wad into Ashley’s hair, and after her mother had taken her to the salon to have the sticky mess cut out, it was Landon who helped her survive.

  The other boys were picking on her because of her short hair. But Landon told them to quit it. “Ashley is a gymnast,” he told them. “Short hair is better for her sport.” Then he’d smiled at her and nodded. “I like it.”

  And soon the whole class felt that way about her new look.

  Yes, Landon had her heart from the beginning. Cutest boy she’d ever seen. Then, and still. With Landon, there hadn’t been any doubt that the two of them would end up together. Back then, Ashley would dream about the years and decades ahead and always she saw Landon.

  Ashley closed her eyes and it was her sophomore year again, the time Landon came to her house and knocked at the door. Before that they’d studied together at his house or hers, but he’d never just come by unannounced.

  Her mom answered the door that day. Ashley was up in her room drawing, but when she heard his voice her heart skipped a beat. Why had he come over? She had hurried down the stairs. And there he was, that swoop of brown hair hanging just above his amber-colored eyes.

  “Ash… I wanna show you something.” He looked like he had just won a gold medal. They stepped outside and Ashley saw the reason. Not a gold medal. But an older Chevy Camaro. Golden brown. “I passed my driver’s test!” He grinned.

  “You did?” She squealed at the news.

  “Ninety-five percent!” He raised both fists and jumped around a few times. “My dad bought me this for an early birthday gift.”

  They walked to the car and Ashley ran her fingers along the shiny door. “I love it.” She grinned at him. “It’s weird that we’re old enough to drive.”

  “Well.” He gave her a teasing look, the one he’d been giving her since fifth grade. “I’m old enough. You still have a few months.”

  She gave a light kick at the toe of his tennis shoe. “I’ll catch up. And I’ll be a better driver. Hundred percent. That’s my goal.”

  Landon’s laughter faded and he took her hand, something he hadn’t done since they got lost at the zoo. But that day, with his car a few feet away, there had been something very different about the feelings between them.

  He looked into her eyes. “Actually… I don’t want to be in separate cars, Ashley.” He took a step closer. “I want to date you. Be my girlfriend. Then you can sit in my passenger seat. For now.” His smile had etched itself in her heart, where it remained even now. His voice fell to a whisper. “Maybe forever.”

  A shyness had come over them. Something Ashley had never felt with Landon Blake. Her heart fluttered and she put her arms around his neck and hugged him. “I’d like that.” She leaned back and laughed. “And maybe sometimes you can be in the passenger seat.” The car caught her attention again. “Because that Camaro is the sweetest.”